Processing – Misogyny and Misandry

You have either come across these words, or you haven’t; two Greek words which have similar meanings and are not found regularly in dictionaries or even in people’s vocabulary.  Yet, you will recognise their effects and realise that all of us, in some shape of form, have been a receiver and/or an active participant in them.

Let’s start with the basics.  What do they mean?

Definitions

Misogyny – literally translated means “hated of women”.

Misandry – literally translated means “hatred of men”.

In the next few posts, I’m going to write about them as they pertain to me.  I am going to process these acts in my life and their effects on me.  I will also tell how I have actively participated in both, either consciously and unconsciously.

We are all victims

Whether we like it or not, we have all been victims of these acts.  You may not recognise them at all because they can be very subtle but let me give you some examples:

• Name calling
• Dishonouring
• sexist jokes/comedy
• Bullying
• Abuse

All of the above can apply to both men and women.

We are all guilty

We may not have actually been guilty of all forms, but I am sure that when you start reading how I participated in these acts, you will see similarities in your life.  It’s the subtle things that are the most common.  It was the subtle things that trapped me.

I would like to say here that I am not the victim of physical abuse, or any of the “most serious forms” of misogyny and misandry.  However, I am a victim and an offender regarding the more subtle forms.  It is quite possible that, after having read my posts, you will see things going on around you that you had not noticed before.  If we are not shown these things, we cannot hope to change them.

I am not an ardent feminist, nor am I a woman who bends over backwards with tolerance.  I see these posts on “Processing …” as a way of helping me work through stuff that is in my life in a healthy way.

This stuff always brings reaction.  For some it may be an “aha” moment; for others it may be a completely different response.

And I don’t expect everyone to agree with me either……….

I’ll write more in a couple of days……. in the meantime, here are some questions you may wish to consider and comment on.

Were the words Misogyny and Misandry already familiar to you?

Looking at some of the list above, are you already seeing some of these things in your life?

If so, what?

Processing – Confidence

What is confidence? 

Where does it originate? 

Why are some people apparently confident and others not?

These are questions that I have asked myself lately.  I will start by saying here, now, that I don’t have answers, but I have some theories.  I’d love to hear yours too, so please add your comments below, when you have read through.

A rough definition (according to Google!) is:

1. The feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust: “we had every confidence in the staff”.
2. The state of feeling certain about the truth of something.

OK, so it’s having trust in something or someone.  But where does it come from?  I think there are several things that contribute.  This is not an exhaustive list.

• past experience
• an inbuilt certainty, perhaps it could be called “ego” in some cases
• a secure state, a sense of being
• being regularly affirmed and encouraged

These points actually help us understand why some people are confident and others are not.  Past experiences of trying new things and taking risks outside of your comfort zone can be an indication of a confident person, but it can also build up confidence.  However, people who may have been told over the years that they “don’t amount to anything”, are “stupid and useless” often lack confidence.  No wonder.  Hearing those words often enough will stifle any attempt to take a risk or try something new.

Many people have confidence in their own abilities.  Do something over and over and soon you will become confident in that act.  There are instances where a person is great at doing something but is very unconfident in themselves.   Why could that be?  Are you like that?

The most confident people I know are very secure in themselves.   They are calmly self-assured, and this may be because they have been brought up to know that they are valued, loved and wanted.   They seem to know who they are.  Many have experienced regular affirmation from parents or significant others and have been encouraged to take risks.

I know that there is more to confidence than those things I have mentioned here, but I have looked at myself recently to try to understand the confidence I have.  These four points have been significant in my life in shaping my confidence.

Is there any similarity in your lives?  What have you found to be significant to your confidence?

Thanks for visiting.  I’m looking forward to hearing your points so please join in the conversation.

Related articles

• Earning Confidence (professionalrebellion.com)
• Show Confidence Not Arrogance (jayrando.wordpress.com)