Hiding behind the “child in me”.

 

Chocolate

Deriving comfort from chocolate is misplaced.

Yesterday was a day I was happy to see pass by.  Thankfully it went quickly.  I won’t go into details but just to say that by the end of it I was physically exhausted.  So much so, I was to tired to eat properly.  I know you’ve been there too.

 

It is at these times that I fall back into old habits which are unhealthy for me:

  • I Feel a victim
  • I resort to unhealthy nibbles of chocolate for comfort
  • I bend into people – wanting them to be my crutch
  • I found myself feeding off my daughter for love and attention

Now you may think that some of these reactions are perfectly legitimate – the chocolate for instance.  But not for me.  I am going back to being a child, and I thought I had become an adult.  It just goes to show that although I thought my lessons had been learned, I often have to go back and re-learn the lesson.

Re-learning is no bad thing.  Obviously, if I am going over old stuff then I didn’t learn the lesson the first place.  However, the aim should be to build on what has been learned before and move forward.  And to do this effectively, I need people around me who can hold me to account.  I am fortunate to have as a small accountability group.  Each of us has agreed to challenge each other when we see actions or reactions that are not healthy in us.  It has taken time to build to this point, but the pain of the journey is worth travelling.  With help, situations like yesterday will be fewer and further between.

How do you recognise unhealthy reactions in yourself?  How do you work on these areas when they arise?  Do you have accountability?

Thanks for reading.

Kate

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About katehobbs

Mother to two who are now independant and living away from home. Wife to Steve, for the last 26yrs and looking forward to many more years. I have enjoyed 18 months in the Okanagan, something that I have longed to have the opportunity to do for a while. Living a dream, you could say. Now, I am interning with Living Waters Canada based in Vancouver until end of April 2013. I love to grow my own food - it tastes so much better. I also build up, train and encourage others to achieve more than they thought possible.
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One Response to Hiding behind the “child in me”.

  1. Steve says:

    I understand this feeling too! Comforting ourselves is far to easy. I give my accountability group permission to challenge me on this – which can be uncomfortable when i am feeling particualrly prickly and defensive, but i know that they have my best interests at heart. Steve

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