Yesterday was a day I was happy to see pass by. Thankfully it went quickly. I won’t go into details but just to say that by the end of it I was physically exhausted. So much so, I was to tired to eat properly. I know you’ve been there too.
It is at these times that I fall back into old habits which are unhealthy for me:
- I Feel a victim
- I resort to unhealthy nibbles of chocolate for comfort
- I bend into people – wanting them to be my crutch
- I found myself feeding off my daughter for love and attention
Now you may think that some of these reactions are perfectly legitimate – the chocolate for instance. But not for me. I am going back to being a child, and I thought I had become an adult. It just goes to show that although I thought my lessons had been learned, I often have to go back and re-learn the lesson.
Re-learning is no bad thing. Obviously, if I am going over old stuff then I didn’t learn the lesson the first place. However, the aim should be to build on what has been learned before and move forward. And to do this effectively, I need people around me who can hold me to account. I am fortunate to have as a small accountability group. Each of us has agreed to challenge each other when we see actions or reactions that are not healthy in us. It has taken time to build to this point, but the pain of the journey is worth travelling. With help, situations like yesterday will be fewer and further between.
How do you recognise unhealthy reactions in yourself? How do you work on these areas when they arise? Do you have accountability?
Thanks for reading.