We live in an age where people tend to shift blame and not accept responsibility for their own words and actions. If we make a choice that turns out not to be such a good thing, we often blame something or someone else for its failure. I confess I’ve done it and it’s easy to do. You know what I am talking about. “It wasn’t me, you need to speak to Joe Bloggs”, “you have no idea what has happened to me so I can act like this”.
The first thing we need to learn is to stop blaming. I am the only person who controls my tongue, my fist, my emotions. I am the only one who can stop putting food in my mouth, or lift a glass of Scotch to my lips.
I accept that sometimes we react out of sufferings and hurt that have been done to us in the past. We can’t change that. However, at some point in our lives, we can decide not to continue down a route of destruction and put a line in the sand. “I, today, decide that I will be in charge of my actions”. It may mean letting go of past hurts, choosing to no longer hold on to the anger and bitterness. It may mean forgiving.
The choices I make are my responsiblity and I have to live with the consequences of those choices. Absolving myself of responsibility will not help me build good healthy relationships with people. Identifying where I am blaming others for my responses instead of accepting responsiblity, making a healthy choice to let go of past incidents, working through with the help of others to learn from this will actually heal and restore and not pull down and crush.
And I would rather see healing and restoration in my life and in those around me.
Have you ever recognised times when you have blamed others? Why do you think that was? Did you just carry on, or did you consciously change the situation?
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