Energy Sappers – learn to recognise them

Polar bear asleepDo you recognise them?  They appear friendly; they are happy to be around people.  And you start out by enjoying their presence, you join in the conversation, you start to get to know them.

However, when you separate, you realise that you are completely drained.

You begin to realise that the reason is because of the company you have just kept.  The attitude was negative; there was no encouragement for others; the conversation was narcissistic.

Jumping

Spend time around those who give you energy, and then do the same for others.

In complete contrast, you recognise that there are people in your circle of friends that energise you.  You come away from them feeling good about yourself; you are enthused; your productivity goes up; you enjoy being in their company.

I love being around people, but I have to be careful that I don’t get abused by those who wish to take advantage of me.  And that means putting in boundaries.  This sounds a little harsh.  I’d love to be able to help everyone who came to me seeking help, but I can’t.  I am not able to be all to everyone.  I am only one person.  I cannot give of myself when I do not have time, or have other commitments, or it is not in line with my core values and beliefs.

I have to accept that it is OK to say No.  This will help preserve myself and will ensure that I have the energy I need to help when I choose to.

Do you know of the energy sappers in your life?  They don’t have to be people.  What changes and choices are you going to make to preserve yourself?

Thank you for taking the time to visit me here.  I appreciate any feedback that you care to give. Please add a comment to introduce yourself, or add value to what I have written in this post.  Kate.

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About katehobbs

Mother to two who are now independant and living away from home. Wife to Steve, for the last 26yrs and looking forward to many more years. I have enjoyed 18 months in the Okanagan, something that I have longed to have the opportunity to do for a while. Living a dream, you could say. Now, I am interning with Living Waters Canada based in Vancouver until end of April 2013. I love to grow my own food - it tastes so much better. I also build up, train and encourage others to achieve more than they thought possible.
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3 Responses to Energy Sappers – learn to recognise them

  1. Coming from a sad detour through the shadowlands of New Age, before returning to Jesus Christ, I can confirm this. In those circles the zappers comes in aboundance. It’s the have-no-life-of-my-own-so-I’m-gonna-take-yours syndrome. They are walking black holes that can only get filled by Jesus.

    • katehobbs says:

      Thank you for your comment Lennart. It’s good to know that others have found the same situation. I knew I wasn’t alone but so many people keep things to themselves and don’t want to admit what is going on even if they recognise it. Sometimes, the energy sappers don’t know exactly what they are doing because of their brokenness. They need healing, just as much as I do. It has taken me a while to recognise that I am broken in areas that I thought were safe. But that was just me in denial. Now I am being healed in those areas. Note that I said “being healed” because the process is not yet finished. I need to be constantly aware of where I can be damaged again, and seek to ensure that I am in a good strong place to resist. So recognising when I am being drained by others is a step in the right direction for me. And I acknowledge that my healing is from Father God. Thank you for your note. Please keep reading and commenting.

  2. Pingback: Develop yourself as an Energy-Giver. | katehobbs

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