Everybody thinks of changing humanity and nobody thinks of changing himself-Tolstoy
What right have we to say that others must change, or that the country or world must change, if we are not willing to look at ourselves and change that which is not good?
None of us is perfect. Therefore, by that very fact, we need to see what needs attention and seek to change it. But how many of us are brave enough, or secure in ourselves, to embark on such change.
I must confess that, today, I did not act with much compassion when confronted by three students who wanted me to change their exam results. OK – there was nothing I could do about the results. They had been approved by the necessary boards, but I could have had a bit more patience with them, and not raised my voice. They wanted me to change the results for them, but were unwilling to see that they were the ones who needed to change their approach to learning i.e. not expecting to get easy questions in an exam, and to do extra reading and research. I wanted them to change their attitude (and my attitude stank) and accept that the result had to stand. In the end, because I was getting so angry inside, I walked away. Again, not a good reaction, wouldn’t you say?
We were all wrong. We all had expectations of the other which could never be met. We all wanted the other to change to our way of thinking but were not ready to shift our own stance. Stalemate.
So what now? I need to make allowances for other people. I need to understand why I react the way I do. I need to accept what I did and go speak to the students again and say I was sorry for my lack of compassion and my outburst. Whether they forgive me is up to them. I need to clean my slate at the very least. And I need to recognise the triggers that got me to that heated point in the first place, and deal with the root issue. This will all take time. I will need wise people around me to help me through this. I am aware that I may fail again, but I will not have failed if I pick myself up, evaluate the situation, learn a lesson from it and live out that new learning.
Here is to the next step of my life-changing journey. Cheers!
Thank you for taking the time to visit me here. I appreciate any feedback that you care to give. Please add a comment to introduce yourself, or add value to what I have written in this post. Kate.