Forgiveness means Letting Go

Forgiveness means relinguishing the right to retaliateI was recently involved a conversation on Twitter (Follow me @katehobbs).  I retweeted the following quote: “Forgiveness is a decision… It’s not an emotion!”

I had an instant response from @pluckycharmed. “Re; forgiveness. I have a friend who says ‘Forgiveness is relinquishing the right to retaliate.'”

This triggered something in me.  I’d heard something like this before.  I went searching and found this: ‘forgiveness is relinquishing our “right” to be judge and jury. We hand the offender over to God.’

I don’t think that I have fully learned this lesson.  It is often hard to forgive someone in the heat of the moment.  It’s even harder, if the incident happened years before and resentment and hatred have become ingrained.  For some, the resentment and hatred is all that keeps them alive.  To suggest to such a person that they need to forgive is like asking them to stop living.

There is growing evidence that to hold on to such emotions changes the body’s chemical balance and illness occurs.  I am not a researcher so can’t vouch for that but I have seen people who, once they have forgiven, move into better health.

So, what am I trying to say.  We have all be wronged.  We all have an opportunity to forgive.  We all need to move to that point of being able to truly forgive.  Sometimes we will need help to get to that point if we have hung onto the unforgiveness for sometime.  We need to understand the affect that the unforgiveness has had on our lives, on our reactions, on our beliefs, and on our family and friends.  And when we do forgive, we let go.  We let go of:

  • our hatred, resentment
  • our desire for justice
  • our desire to “get them back” for all the hurt done
  • them.  They are no longer bound to us.

This is a hard post to read, but I hope that it has prompted something in you, as it has in me, that needs immediate attention.  I wish you well in that journey.

You can read @pluckycharmed’s blog here.

Thank you for taking the time to visit me here.  I appreciate any feedback that you care to give. Please add a comment to introduce yourself, or add value to what I have written in this post.  Kate.

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About katehobbs

Mother to two who are now independant and living away from home. Wife to Steve, for the last 26yrs and looking forward to many more years. I have enjoyed 18 months in the Okanagan, something that I have longed to have the opportunity to do for a while. Living a dream, you could say. Now, I am interning with Living Waters Canada based in Vancouver until end of April 2013. I love to grow my own food - it tastes so much better. I also build up, train and encourage others to achieve more than they thought possible.
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4 Responses to Forgiveness means Letting Go

  1. Lolade says:

    Insightful!

  2. Jenny says:

    I’m so touched that my thought inspired you to write such a lovely piece. I look forward to reading more of your work. Jenny.
    http://WWW.pluckycharmed.com

    • katehobbs says:

      Hi Jenny
      It’s amazing how you get blog posts. I only try and write about what is and has happened to me. Thank you for the conversation. This is what it’s all about really…… being part of community. So glad we are connected. Kate

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