Last year, I commented on a post originally put up by WordPress as a subject for discussion. I completely forgot that I had done this until a few days ago when I was notified by WP of a reply.
I went to the post and read my comment and reply together to see how they were linked, because after such a long time, you forget. On reading the reply, I felt as if I had been violated.
There was several dozen comments, and mine was the only one that had ‘achieved’ a reply. My comment contained thoughts and opinions which had been voiced by other commentators, so I wasn’t alone in my thinking.
I was angered by the reply itself. There did not appear to be anything positive in it. My mind ran riot with thoughts and feelings.
- The reply was full of criticism and I felt as if my voice, my opinion, was not valid.
- Was it because I was a female?
- Had the author checked my blogs and found I had some sort of faith and had ‘gone after me’ because of that?
- Did I not have a right to an opinion?
- What right had he got to criticise only me when others had said the same thing?
- I wanted to respond immediately. What could I say?
I did hit the reply button under his comment and I got a warning from WordPress and I decided not to go on with my action. Probably a very good thing. Responding in the heat of the moment is not right. Emotions and feelings are very raw, and as you have heard me say before, feelings don’t always indicate the reality of the situation.
I slept on it. Well I hoped to sleep on it but I didn’t do too well. My mind raced in the night and I was formulating what I was going to say in this post. There was a point where I considered naming and shaming but what good would that do anybody? I might feel good, but what then? So, in the end, this is how I decided to react; by expressing in this post what was going on in me, and how I am processing it.
In every situation, there is an opportunity to learn something new; about yourself; about how to deal with things; about how to behave. And there is always choice. Some say it’s learning about life. True. It’s also character building.
How do you process criticism?
I found writing about my reactions was cathartic? Would you have considered doing something similar?