What is confidence?
Where does it originate?
Why are some people apparently confident and others not?
These are questions that I have asked myself lately. I will start by saying here, now, that I don’t have answers, but I have some theories. I’d love to hear yours too, so please add your comments below, when you have read through.
A rough definition (according to Google!) is:
- The feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust: “we had every confidence in the staff”.
- The state of feeling certain about the truth of something.
OK, so it’s having trust in something or someone. But where does it come from? I think there are several things that contribute. This is not an exhaustive list.
- past experience
- an inbuilt certainty, perhaps it could be called “ego” in some cases
- a secure state, a sense of being
- being regularly affirmed and encouraged
These points actually help us understand why some people are confident and others are not. Past experiences of trying new things and taking risks outside of your comfort zone can be an indication of a confident person, but it can also build up confidence. However, people who may have been told over the years that they “don’t amount to anything”, are “stupid and useless” often lack confidence. No wonder. Hearing those words often enough will stifle any attempt to take a risk or try something new.
Many people have confidence in their own abilities. Do something over and over and soon you will become confident in that act. There are instances where a person is great at doing something but is very unconfident in themselves. Why could that be? Are you like that?
The most confident people I know are very secure in themselves. They are calmly self-assured, and this may be because they have been brought up to know that they are valued, loved and wanted. They seem to know who they are. Many have experienced regular affirmation from parents or significant others and have been encouraged to take risks.
I know that there is more to confidence than those things I have mentioned here, but I have looked at myself recently to try to understand the confidence I have. These four points have been significant in my life in shaping my confidence.
Is there any similarity in your lives? What have you found to be significant to your confidence?
Thanks for visiting. I’m looking forward to hearing your points so please join in the conversation.