Processing – Misogyny and Misandry

You have either come across these words, or you haven’t; two Greek words which have similar meanings and are not found regularly in dictionaries or even in people’s vocabulary.  Yet, you will recognise their effects and realise that all of us, in some shape of form, have been a receiver and/or an active participant in them.

Let’s start with the basics.  What do they mean?

Definitions

Misogyny – literally translated means “hated of women”.

Misandry – literally translated means “hatred of men”.

In the next few posts, I’m going to write about them as they pertain to me.  I am going to process these acts in my life and their effects on me.  I will also tell how I have actively participated in both, either consciously and unconsciously.

We are all victims

Whether we like it or not, we have all been victims of these acts.  You may not recognise them at all because they can be very subtle but let me give you some examples:

  • Name calling
  • Dishonouring
  • sexist jokes/comedy
  • Bullying
  • Abuse

All of the above can apply to both men and women.

We are all guilty

We may not have actually been guilty of all forms, but I am sure that when you start reading how I participated in these acts, you will see similarities in your life.  It’s the subtle things that are the most common.  It was the subtle things that trapped me.

I would like to say here that I am not the victim of physical abuse, or any of the “most serious forms” of misogyny and misandry.  However, I am a victim and an offender regarding the more subtle forms.  It is quite possible that, after having read my posts, you will see things going on around you that you had not noticed before.  If we are not shown these things, we cannot hope to change them.

I am not an ardent feminist, nor am I a woman who bends over backwards with tolerance.  I see these posts on “Processing …” as a way of helping me work through stuff that is in my life in a healthy way.

This stuff always brings reaction.  For some it may be an “aha” moment; for others it may be a completely different response.

And I don’t expect everyone to agree with me either……….

I’ll write more in a couple of days……. in the meantime, here are some questions you may wish to consider and comment on.

Were the words Misogyny and Misandry already familiar to you?

Looking at some of the list above, are you already seeing some of these things in your life?

If so, what?

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About katehobbs

Mother to two who are now independant and living away from home. Wife to Steve, for the last 26yrs and looking forward to many more years. I have enjoyed 18 months in the Okanagan, something that I have longed to have the opportunity to do for a while. Living a dream, you could say. Now, I am interning with Living Waters Canada based in Vancouver until end of April 2013. I love to grow my own food - it tastes so much better. I also build up, train and encourage others to achieve more than they thought possible.
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9 Responses to Processing – Misogyny and Misandry

  1. stuartart says:

    Educational – thanks Kate. I’d heard mysogyny mentioned on the news many times without fully understanding its meaning. Misandry I’ve never heard of but I’m sure the emotion is common, especially in the middle east, Africa and other places where women are treated often as third class citizens. Thanks.

    • katehobbs says:

      Glad to see you here Stuart. Hopefully my next few posts will shed more light on these two subjects. Should make for an interesting conversation!
      Kate

  2. fiztrainer says:

    I have never actually heard these terms before, but I understand the meaning. I personally relate more the “man hater”. I was abused at an early age (not by family). This left a scar on me that haunted me and affected my view of men and relationships up until very recently actually. I was molested at a very young age and it was never dealt with. I was on a school trip and the situation was made known to various authority figures in my life, but no one did anything about it. Unfortunately, this burned a message into my psyche that lived with me for years. I was not worth much and men are evil (in very basic terms). I am only now (at 48 years old) dealing with the devastation of this because of years of inability to truly relate to men and mainly my husband in a way that I should. I never could understand why. 6 years ago, I had a full-blown nervous breakdown that affected not only me, but my entire family that centered around this subject on some levels. It set me on a course to understand and learn how to change my thought process and behaviors because I was not going to be a victim. I’m not 100%, but I would say I’m 90% and coming to realize and learn so much. Dealing with this subject area has drastically changed my life. Thank you for taking the time to obviously research and share your findings with us all. 😀

    • katehobbs says:

      Thank you for sharing your story. What you have written takes courage. You and I have learned that this all needs to come into the light, where its power is greatly diminished. If kept in the dark, it can hold us captive.
      I am not surprised that the terms mysogyny and misandry were not known to you. Very few people do know of them. I intend to cover misandry in later posts. Your molestation will have certainly affected your perception of men. It is a sad thing to say that your story is not uncommon. I am so glad that you are now being restored. One could ask why it has taken so long, but then I am so pleased that you are receiving healing in this area.
      I have found that I continue to be restored in this area. New things come up each time, and I need to let them go. I think that this will be a lifelong thing.
      Thank you again for sharing your story. I hope that people take comfort from it.
      Kate

      • fiztrainer says:

        I have been so MIA lately and I just saw your response and wanted to thank you so much for your kind and wonderful words. You said something so key that I’ve learned about keeping things hidden. I have used the example of lifting a rock. As long as the rock is in its place all those little insects continue to fester and grow and multiply. But, once that rock is removed and the light of truth hits, those insects will shoot in every direction to get out from sight. I think that’s how it is with those things that we keep hidden. Those things fester and grow and lies begin to multiply around those things. But, once we have the courage to let the light of truth reveal the hidden things, we find the lies begin to flee and we find ourselves on the path to healing. It took so long because I think since no one in authority at the time did anything, I became embarrassed by what happened and felt it wasn’t important enough to deal with. Then, the older you get, the more you find it difficult to deal with such things. I thank God for my husband who has been a huge encouragement in helping me to face my “demons”. Thanks again for everything you said here. You are a true inspiration. 😀

      • katehobbs says:

        Being able to speak openly about the things that affect us is key. Once it is in the light its power and hold over us diminshes. Then there is healing in that.
        kate

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